Ask an Expert: The Benefits of Infant Massage with Elina Furman

Elina Furman is a certified infant massage instructor, author of 101 Baby Hacks, and the founder of Kahlmi, the first baby massage brand in the US. She is also the inventor of the award-winning Kahlmi baby massager and massage cards, named Best Baby Product by Parents magazine. Through her work, Elina empowers families to use nurturing touch as a tool for bonding, development, and everyday wellness.

Before your baby can understand the words, “I love you,” they feel your love through your touch—soft kisses, cuddles, and loving strokes. Touch is a powerful tool, and one that’s essential for your little one’s health and well-being. It’s a well-known fact that skin-to-skin in the first hour after birth helps regulate your baby’s temperature, heart rate, breathing, and more. Like skin-to-skin, massage is a simple, science-backed way to make your baby feel safe, secure, and loved.

Massage has been practiced in cultures around the world for centuries. But only recently has research caught up to what caregivers have always known: that touch isn't just a nice-to-have, it's a vital part of a baby's emotional, neurological, and physical development. Whether you're trying to create a soothing bedtime ritual or support your baby through tummy troubles and teething, baby massage is one of the most effective, intuitive tools available. 

What are the benefits of baby massage?

Massage does more than relax your baby. It taps into the power of your connection and helps regulate your baby's systems. From reducing crying and gas to promoting brain development, consistent massage activates the parasympathetic nervous system, the part responsible for rest, digestion, and calm.

A well-known study from Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami found that premature babies who received daily massage gained 47% more weight and left the NICU days earlier than those who didn't. Additional research shows improved sleep patterns, better digestion, and even stronger immune responses. But beyond the data, massage is a parenting superpower, it helps parents respond to their babies in ways that are intuitive, healing, and deeply nourishing for both of them.

• Better sleep: Regular massage helps babies fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer by triggering melatonin and serotonin production.

• Improved digestion: Massage aids peristalsis (the wave-like movement of the intestines), easing colic and reflux.

• Stronger bonding: Oxytocin - the love hormone - increases with massage, enhancing connection between caregiver and baby.

• Brain development: Touch stimulates neural pathways, enhancing cognitive growth and sensory integration.

How early should I start practicing baby massage?

The beauty of massage is that it can begin from day one. In fact, gentle strokes and skin-to-skin contact in those early days mimic the womb and help babies transition into the world.

However, for more structured baby massage sessions, many practitioners recommend starting when your baby is around 4 to 6 weeks of age, when they are more alert, able to make some eye contact, and can tolerate a bit more stimulation.

There is no such thing as "too late" when implementing massage. Baby massage is effective throughout infancy, and even into toddlerhood and adolescence. As your child grows, you will simply adapt your approach to match their developmental stage and personality.

When is the best time of day to give my baby a massage?

The key to a successful massage session is timing and tuning into your baby's cues. Begin the massage when your baby is alert, content, and not too hungry or full. Right after a nap, before bedtime, or post-bath are great times of day. Some babies love a massage in the morning, while others find that massage helps wind them down at night.

Watch for signs of readiness, which include steady eye contact, relaxed body language, and a quiet alert state. If your baby turns away, arches their back, or starts fussing, it might be best to pause or try again later. Don't worry—part of learning massage is learning how to read your baby’s cues to better understand them.

How do I give my baby a massage?

• Step 1: Create a cozy and safe space with a soft, easy-to-clean play mat on the floor. A vegan leather mat from Toki Kids is fully waterproof but super soft and comfortable even on hardwood floors. 

• Step 2: Make sure the room is comfortably warm, then dim the lights for a calm atmosphere. Undress your baby to their diaper or leave them in a onesie, depending on your comfort level and room temperature.

• Step 3: Use a natural, baby-safe oil or lotion if you'd like, and start with slow, gentle strokes. Begin with areas your baby is most comfortable having touched (often the legs or feet) and work your way up.

• Step 4: Make eye contact. Speak or hum softly. Let your touch be intentional but gentle.

Here's a simple sequence to try:

1. Legs and feet: Start with long, sweeping motions down the legs, from thigh to ankle. Gently rub the soles of the feet and each toe.

2. Tummy: Place your hands flat on your baby's belly and make gentle, clockwise circles. This supports digestion and can ease gas or constipation.

3. Chest: With both hands, start at the center of the chest and glide outward, like tracing butterfly wings.

4. Arms and hands: Stroke from shoulder to wrist, gently open the palm, and massage each finger.

5. Face: Lightly trace the eyebrows, cheeks, and jaw with your fingertips.

6. Back: If your baby is on their tummy or lying across your lap, stroke from neck to bottom with soft, rhythmic motions.

Reflexology for common baby issues

One of the most fascinating aspects of baby massage is the use of reflexology—stimulating specific pressure points on the feet and hands to support digestion, sleep, or even teething pain.

• For gas or constipation: Massage the middle of the foot's sole using gentle circular motions.

• For teething: Rub the tips of the toes to help soothe gum pain.

• For sleep: Try massaging the heel and the area under the toes, which correspond to the pelvic region and head.

How often should I give my baby a massage?

There's no strict rule when it comes to how often you should massage your baby. Daily massage, even just 5-10 minutes, can yield big benefits. You might do a longer session in the evening as part of a bedtime routine, or stick to short, playful massages during the day. Consistency matters more than duration. A few minutes of loving touch, done regularly, is better than a one-off hour-long session.

What if my baby dislikes massage?

The golden rule of infant massage is to always follow your baby’s cues. If your baby is fussy, crying, turning away, or arching their back, it’s their way of saying “not right now.” Don’t force it, and try again another time. Massage is all about creating a loving connection and supporting their needs in the moment. Some babies take time to warm up to massage. Try starting with short, gentle sessions and focus on areas they do enjoy like the legs or feet. Over time, as they grow more used to it, many babies begin to love it. 

When the massage is going well, your baby will visibly relax. Their hands will open, their body will soften, and their breathing may slow down. They might coo, smile, or make eye contact. If you’re going too deep or using a stroke they dislike, your baby may squirm, cry, or avoid looking at you. Trust their feedback and let their responses guide your hands. And remember—even experienced parents and instructors get it “wrong” sometimes. 

Are there any dangers to infant massage?

Infant massage is incredibly safe when done properly. You should always use gentle pressure and avoid areas of inflammation, broken skin, or rashes. Consider skipping massage if your baby is unwell, has a fever, or has just received vaccinations. And never massage without checking in with your baby first. If you have concerns about a medical condition, always consult your pediatrician first. 

The benefits of baby massage for parents

In addition to numerous benefits for your baby, massage reduces parental stress and builds confidence. It helps you tune in, slow down, and feel empowered. Studies have shown that parents who practiced infant massage showed lower levels of postpartum anxiety and depression. In today's overstimulated world, baby massage creates a sacred pause—a moment that's not about milestones or checklists, but presence and love. It's a mutual exchange that nourishes both your nervous systems.

Useful tools for baby massage

While your hands are your most powerful tools, supportive products can enhance the experience. The Kahlmi baby massager was designed by Elina Furman, a certified infant massage instructor and mom, to gently mimic the feel of a therapist's hands. It offers soothing vibrations that babies love and helps you feel confident as you learn new strokes. Many parents find that the rhythmic hum calms babies faster and helps transition into nap time more easily.

Pair it with Kahlmi baby massage cards, which offer step-by-step routines for different needs, including digestion, sleep, immunity, and more - making it easy to incorporate into everyday life.

Incorporating massage into your daily routine

Massage doesn't have to be a whole production. Instead, build it into routines that already exist, such as morning wake-ups, evening wind-downs, or during transitions like travel and daycare pickups. It can be as simple as:

• A few strokes before a diaper change

• Reflexology while baby is in your lap

• A calming foot rub before bedtime

• A mid-day cuddle during tummy time on your Toki Kids mat

In the end, you don't need to be an expert. You're not just giving a massage. You’re giving your baby the gift of connection, safety, and love that lasts a lifetime. The more you massage, the more confident you'll feel. Your baby will show you what they like, and together, you'll create a language that's uniquely yours.